Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize