I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Someone signed my nipple.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
