Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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