yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
