how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
