How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
