Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
