Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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