Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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