no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
