he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize