glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
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The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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