She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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