those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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