So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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