Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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