just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
