i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
