did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
