i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He better not be in your backpack
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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