I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
