there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
