This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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