So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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