i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
