I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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