Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize