I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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