Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
