so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's blow job season.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
