wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
