we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize