I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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