i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
