the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
