A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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