If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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