You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
