this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
