I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
