Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
honey bunches of taint.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
