I bet he comes in French.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got inside last night via doggy door
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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