help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
