"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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