It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
