i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
