You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
