I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize