they need to just BURY HIM!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize