this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
