At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
