Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
