im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
