The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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