she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize