we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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