Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to jail i love you
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
