the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
